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I’ve been dumped a dozen times in the last couple months. And not just by normal girls, but by unicorns – supermodels with personality who pampered me. The type of dream girls, whose pictures I would save on my tumblr. With the first couple of girls, I got over because the mutual friends who set us up would hook me up with more. But the last couple rejections have made me question everything that I ever thought about myself.

And as time went by, the amount of supermodels with open dance cards have approached the limit of zero. So now I’ve gone on dates with mere fitness models, or models with quirky personalities, maybe a beautiful girl without the greatest sense of fashion. But who am I to be picky? And yet, by the time I’ve convinced myself to put her on a pedestal with the best, she’s turned me down too.

And it’s all weird because it’s not like I’ve never been successful before. Sure maybe the location was different and the stakes were somewhat lower, but I’ve tasted success.

And so now, I’m left here wondering if I will ever find someone to give me an opportunity believe in me. Because the scary part is that I’ve had plenty of opportunities…great, once-in-a-lifetime opportunities…that I’ve cocked up.

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It’s hard to find a reason to be a homebody in the City unless you are trying to avoid something. I’m trying to avoid getting asked, “when are you quitting your job?” Yes, I know, I’ve been trying to quit since I got in here, you think I’d still be here if I had a better choice???

And yet, what’s left of me is that I keep on discovering new ways for others to say no. It’d all be very amusing if it weren’t, you know, MY LIFE.

And now I’ve had plenty of experience…

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Sigh. But there’s nothing I can do, but to ask, as my ATF TV show always said…what’s next?