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1) I asked my staffer for more work and he said “aren’t you over-staffed” – probably the first time in investment banking history that a staffer has uttered those words

2) Had a project-off with my co-worker…we forgot more projects than we were able to actually list out

3) Wait….I intentionally set a meeting for 830am tomorrow today???

4) So I’m on a first name basis with all of my co-workers’ gf’s and have never met them in person

5) Sign #96 that I cant get asian girls to listen to me: Her: “Stop trying to staff me up!” Me: “Wait, isn’t that your job?” Her: “:(” Me: “Ok, fine I’ll do it”

6) Sign #54 that procrastination is how you get shit done: Literally have not gotten to Fedex more than 15 minutes before closing time

7) Great lines of the day:

– “You’re not rebelling against society by being a poorly-dressed investment banker. You’re a cube monkey…you might as well be a well-dressed cube monkey.” (I’m going to miss you P) (gulp)

-“Do the three books for a Thursday meeting and I’ll tell which you which one I’ll go to.” (paraphrased)

-“So is it awkward to go to dim sum because of the one person taking them, the fact you are taking a party bus, or because it’s dim sum.” (uhm, all of the above?)

-“I say it’s easy, but I know it might take a while.” (oh, right because nothing we do is hard, d’oh)

-“WTF, this place is so racist, someone left a fortune cookie on my desk.” (actually an asian person did it)

Lastly) Tried to open my model, at 4:30am, it’s taking 10 minutes+…fuck it, I’m going home